Sunday, 16 December 2012

1. The genetic function of behavior, as a consequence of natural selection, is to contribute to reproductive success. The genetic function of my behavior, as consequence of some epigenetic failure, is to contribute to my psychologist's wallet's success. I just can imagine her thinking in the supermarket: Today I'll buy Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese which is currently at around 20 euros per kilogram, because I know that Eme's common sense has been tossed from her mind. Merry Christmas dear Psychologist, I hope that that cheese, yield of my natural stress, doesn't fatten you too much.

2. A thought, until it becomes language or action, is not a fact. So, I can think about you 1000 times per minute and shut up. Then you will think that I'm not interested in you anymore. And then you will think about me and you'll shut up. And then, we both, silent as guilt, will remain about 6 months dwindling slowly by slowly in the thick space of our brains. One day we will wake up, and we will think about coffee, as sane people, not about biting each other, or about hating each other, or about calling each other crying and blaming: You promised me, fuck, I don't know what exactly you promised me but that permanent smile on your face had to mean something more than chemistry.

3. The cold freezes my nose and my skin. So I forget the warm air. The smell of mangoes. The loneliness in the night. The people dying and staying there, outside, rotting, as if they are part of the ground, and that ground were absorbing them gently. Here dead people don't exist. They are dying in a theoretical life. One day someone disappears. No smell. No fluid. No bodies becoming trees. It is because of that that we are white, because the cold made us clean outside. But you can't imagine how much shit we have inside. How dark we are. How alone. How everything.

4. 330mL of Diet Coke is not enough to stay awake as the TV promised. Another lie.

6 comments:

  1. Café, café. Toma café.

    (Echo de menos que escribas en español...)


    B.

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    Replies
    1. Y yo. Parece que el inglés me facilita escribir porque escribo desde fuera. Pero volveré al español. Hay cosas que hay que contar desde la lengua de uno. Gracias por seguir siempre aquí. Y feliz navidad :)

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  2. Don't be so severe with yourself…

    Try to love yourself with patience, understanding…and so on…you know…

    Life is hard. Life is a mess. Here we live the hell inside, you're rigth, but a little happiness, a smile, a loving sigth from those loved and beautiful eyes…is possible as well…

    I feel worried when I read your pain, hopeless, loneliness…

    Come on, Eme. Shine on you crazy diamond!!!

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  3. ¿Para cuándo una versión bilingüe? ;)
    La segunda reflexión, impresionante…

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Debería, lo pienso muy fuerte siempre. Pero escribo casi sin tiempo últimamente. Lo haré. Gracias por estar por aquí :)

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